When it comes to caring for the people we love, there is no outsourcing. Think about it - there is a working couple who hire a Nanny to take care of their children while they are away. The Nanny is just an enabler who does things at that couple’s behest… Sure, they will take some decisions that they are empowered to, but, care for the children is still the couple’s responsibility.
Now, let's dial up to the other end of the spectrum - elders. We can find a Senior community for them, we can set up a supporting ecosystem at home (attender, helper, driver, nurse…..), we can have our friendly cousins and neighbors pitch in and help out when situations arise. But, all these are just a part of a ecosystem. When it comes to parents, there are emotions and dealing with emotions just can't be outsourced.
Now, we can tap into the ecosystem, receive inputs, lean upon them for guidance, support and getting things done. But, for certain things, we just have to be there - physically or remotely AND take charge providing directions.
Here are 5 things that you could and should do:
- Set up a support system that is not overbearing
- Be open to suggestions
- Communicate what you like to be done
- Be the conduit.. Don't use the support system as the messenger
- Take responsibility - Step in when you must
At Prayojana, we consider ourselves to be a part of the family of the elders we support. We are thankful that most of the children who have engaged us to be their support system don't function as if they have outsourced the care for their elderly parents to us. We’re thankful that we are their enablers, not just order takers, but not the decision makers either.
By Venkataraman Krishnan
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